To do list

1) Breakfast, 4 oz gruel


2) Post Dinner money to the nice lady at Carter Ruck


3) Visit WH Smith. Purchase 40 gallons blue ink and a marker pen.


4) Sneak into book department and alter recipes in Delia's 'How to cook' from grammes to ounces.


5) Compose first FOI request of the day

Dear Scotland Yard.

For many years now the British public have sat aghast while millions are wasted on *insert 800  word diatribe about Operation Grange*

My last request for information was refused, and I was told that my request was vexatious. I therefore would like to know:

1) Why, upon delivering my request and accompanying documents to the front desk where they were taken away by an officer I couldn't help but notice appeared to be of Mediterranean appearance, did I clearly hear a shout from the back office, to wit. ''It's that bald speccy twat again, Andy. Want me to oil the shredder?''..........................................